theonion:

Mom Calmly Emptying Dishwasher As If Shrieking Argument Didn’t Happen 10 Minutes Ago: Full Report

THIS IS ME.

(via pleatedjeans)

Someone please pay for my gym membership, Blue Apron subscription, and get me a Graze hook up and I will document the transformation in blog and we be rich RICH.  thanks.

katespencer:

When I was 10 years old, some moms in my fifth grade class organized an end of the year pool party for our entire grade. It was one of the first times I can recall being sent into a tailspin of anxiety for weeks, because it meant I had to wear a bathing suit in front of my classmates. After many…

More importantly, Kate Spencer is a FANTASTIC role model. 

whynotmikestill:

You did it Mike! You were great on Happy Endings and we’re proud of you!  Most importantly, you booked that job.

I hope you guys aren’t missing the most important Tumblr on the internets today.

whynotmikestill:

Why didn’t Mike Still book this Verizon commercial?

whynotmikestill:

Why didn’t Mike Still book this Gain commercial?

verymarykate:

new episodes starting next thursday! i cant wait to introduce u guyz 2 my new bf!

I screamed out loud when i saw this.

BRANDON. SCOTT. JONES.

laughingsquid:

56 Up, Latest in Documentary Series That Has Followed a Group of Britons Every 7 Years Since 1964

Beyond excited for this.

jakeyboi:

lanii-girl:

hold on, lemme just grab this FUCKING BASEBALL FLYING AT YOUR HEAD AT 100 MPH for a second

Is this real?? Also, I definitely read his name as Eva Longoria.

(via itsfunnytome)

I’m so bored you guys.